


Spine

by GalekhXigisi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Good Deceit Sanders, M/M, Married Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morning Sickness, No Beta, Not Fluff really, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Trans Male Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Trans Male Pregnancy, Vomiting, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 14:29:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19703284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Virgil realizes he's done something that easily could have been avoided when it's far too late.





	Spine

Virgil groans, rolling off the bed. He feels sick, which hasn't actually been uncommon with the horrid heartburn, but this something entirely different to it. He can feel shocks pulsing through his body, making him seize up and huff, breathing shakily, forcing air in and out. He had only just woken up, what the fuck? He forces himself up more, leaning against the bedpost, praying that he would get the support he needs. It doesn't exactly help that he just barely makes it to the bathroom to vomit.

Patton will knowingly be worried, but Virgil is awfully sure he can pass it off as his horrid nerves. His entire pregnancy had been horrid so far. Why should now be any different? After all, it was a bitch of a thing, anyway. Either way, he spends about twenty minutes in the bathroom more than he thinks he should. His back aches so severely, but the doctor had told him that his uterus rested against his spine, causing horrid back pain during anything, which had explained a lot for the teenager currently wading through the motions, an occasional shiver leaving him, though the shivers were more shocks from the pain.

Logan raises a brow at Virgil, sipping on his coffee silently as the other slips into the room, looking rather pale. Sure, he was albino and all, but more so than average, slipping into the room with dark bags under his eyes and shivering occasionally. The two adults already sitting at the kitchen table eyes him warily as he plops down, deathly silent with his moves, just as he had always been.

"Y'okay, kiddo," Patton asks softly, standing from his spot and placing the back of his hand against Virgil's forehead. The way he checks for a temperature without any hesitation is honestly comforting.

"I'm fine," he mumbles, a yawn following. "I was just a little sick this morning. My nerves have been bad."

"Do you know what about," Logan asks, craving the answers within an instant. He doesn't even have to ask, honestly, because all Virgil can do is shrug. he's really not sure what would be causing him to be as sick as he currently felt, but he still was.

Patton is quick to ask, "Should I get you a doctor's appointment," just as quick as Virgil is to dismiss the other's worry.

He waves his hand, smiling as he gives another yawn. Since when had he gotten so tired in the first place? "I'm really fine. I just need to get through today, you know? Get it over with and be done.

Patton gives a worried nod. He knows better than to keep on prodding. That will only make his nerves worse than they already are, make him shut the adult out for days on end. Neither of them neede that, not while Virgil still needs as much support as he can get. Especially with Damien suddenly out of the picture... The two fall into their morning routines, silent as can be.

-

Roman and Remy plop beside Virgil, the two slowly scooting forward. The hesitance doesn't help calm Virgil's nerves in the least, but he keeps that comment to himself, silent as Remy examines his brother. Virgil hadn't even noticed that he wasn't home this morning. he had been caught up in getting sick and slipping by his fathers. The two were a blessing, sure, but they could be a tad bit overbearing when it came to concern.

Remy raises a concerned brow, sipping on his coffee before gesturing to his brother, concern clear. "You look like shit," he supplies, not holding out on being kind. Why would he, after all? Wasn't the point in having a brother to be an asshole? 'The Cain Instinct'? The shorter sounds like he more so pities Virgil than anything else, though, which doesn't dare help Virgil in this situation.

"Did you stay with Emile last night or slip out early? I fell asleep early and got up late this morning." it was a bit of a lie. He had gone to bed incredibly late, but it had been spent laying in bed, pissed off about the sudden cramps and shivers that happened every single time he was about to sleep before his body tired itself and he passed out. he woke up early for the same reason.

"Oh. Stayed with him." He presses a hand against Virgil's forehead, doing the same thing Patton had done. "No fever. What's going on?"

"Nerves are bad," Virgil supplies simply, moving his brother's hands away. he smells like coffee beans, old books, and just generally what a bookstore would smell like if it had a Starbucks in it. It was a knowing tell that he had stayed with his boyfriend the night before. "Why're you so much like Padre? he did the same damn thing this morning."

Roman smirks at that. "It's not our faults we're worried about you! It's just easy to worry about you!"

"Thanks for the boot of confidence, Princey," Virgil retorts to his close friend. "I get it," he smiles before the other can say anything else, "I don't exactly have very good self-preservation skills despite having severe anxiety." he's heard this conversation before more than just once. no need to have it again.

The three never get time to finish, but that's mostly because Virgil realizes he's going to miss class.

-

Virgil sighs as he sits in the back of the class, his father standing in the front and teaching. Science had never exactly been his strong suit, no, but he at least somewhat understood the concept with Logan standing front and center, explaining thoroughly. Whatever he didn't understand, though, he could ask about later, when class was over and the two were home and Virgil was going over whatever he didn't finish during class.

He wrings his hands before raising his hand, thumb tucked beneath his pointer finger, palm clasped. Bathroom in sign language. Two fingers folded meant Restroom, he knows, but he prefers using the word bathroom instead, even if it passively pisses off a few people in class. Logan is quick to nod, watching with wary eyes as Virgil stumbles out of the room.

Virgil only realizes just how stupid he is when he's on the toilet and realizing, Holy shit, my water just broke. He stares at himself in the mirror, collecting himself as he lets the cramps, no, contractions rack his body, leaving him queasy and rather sick of himself. He makes note of the fact that he's been in the restrooms for fifteen minutes, leaving a good another fifteen minutes before class is over.

"I can make it," he whimpers, though tears well up the next time he gets a contraction, staring at himself in the mirror. It takes him a moment to gather himself before he's slipping back into class, sitting in his spot silently as the other students converse, helping out with math problems and so on, Logan flitting around the classroom to answer questions and help out.

I can make it.

He shoots a text to Logan's phone, the only words being, "Can we talk after class? Me me big dumb." Logan gives him a worrisome thumbs up as he slips by the other.

-

Virgil is practically sobbing by the time he stumbles up to his father's desk. He clasps his hands tightly, knuckles bright red with the force he had clamped them shut with. Virgil couldn't care less, though, because breaking his fingers would currently feel like nothing compared to how much his contractions were currently hurting him, as close as could be now.

"Virgil-"

"I'm very dumb," the teenager smirks out with a rather bitter laugh, "I've actually been having contractions."

Logan's eyes widen, clearly ready to panic. It's... odd. Logan doesn't panic. He's the calm one of the Sanders household. He was the tamest, the held together one, the one that actually knew what the fuck he was doing. Now, they two are standing there, Virgil feeling as if he's physically dying while Logan feels so mentally. It's only the seventh class, just one away from the ninth. Patton knowingly wouldn't be off from his job for another two hours, either.

"Virgil!"

"I know, Pops, I know! I'm very dumb and this could have been executed much better than it was! It wasn't! So, what are we going to do?"

"I'm going to call Pat and we're going to ask him," Logan supplies, moving to the phone.

"Okay, but do we have the time for that?" Based on Virgil's panic and Logan's own, it's clear that neither actually know the answer to that.

Patton is quick to pick up the phone, though, quickly answering, "Patton Sanders."

Patton doesn't even get his sentence completely out before Logan is interrupting, "Virgil may be going into labor. What do I do?"

"Oh. Get him to the hospital as soon as he can. Okay, okay, call Missy, too." The mention of the midwife makes Virgil pull out his phone, only to lean over the desk and grip at his fathers' hand, whimper. Logan is rather glad that there won't be any students arriving in the classroom for another moment or two based on the words Virgil just yelped out. "Snatch up Nate so he can watch your class for the last bit of school. I can get Tobi on mine. Get Vee to the hospital as soon as you can, really."

"Okay, okay, cool," Virgil whimpers out, dialing up Missy without another comment. THey pick up almost instantly, leaving Virgil to whimper to them, just barely able to speak through the sudden contraction. Thankfully, Missy gets the gist rather quickly.

-

Virgil whimpers as he gives the final push, a scream ripping from his throat. Thirty-six hours of delivery. Virgil had passed out more than once, just barely making it through the birth. Tears pooled, falling down his cheeks as he chokes down the pain of it all. If not for the fact that he didn't have anything in his system (not the energy), he was pretty sure he would have vomited his way through the pain. Fortunately, though, he doesn't seem to, which is a silent blessing, even if he can't exactly tell at the moment.

He holds the child to his chest, heaving through his own choking sobs as he listens to the other cry. The announcement that it was a boy and the question of what his name was going to be just were just barely filtered through the static in Virgil's head. He feels so damn horrid, but damn if he didn't already love the child.

"Thomas," he mumbles quietly, "It's Thomas."

Virgil slips his phone out, quick to take a picture. He can feel his energy slipping, but he doesn't mind. Damien receives the quick text of a dreary, smiling Virgil, the same text Roman receives.

"Thomas Sanders. A healthy boy."

He misses the measurements the tell him. Just like how he misses Patton's worried, "Why are his vitals dropping? What's going on? Why is his oxygen so low? Is he suffocating?" He even misses Logan's yelling.

-

Logan frowns at the young man standing in his doorway. He's no more than twenty-two, smiling widely. Recognition strikes instantly. it only makes his stomach churn unhappily.

"Mister Logan Sanders," he greets, timidly smiling.

He's just how Logan remembers him. His vitiligo skin and multicolored eyes, one yellow with the other brown. It was a contrast to Virgil's heterochromia, though Thomas had ended up with simple brown eyes and brown hair, straight like Damien's own. He still stands short, just above Patton's height and more than a bit under Logan's own. He stands proudly, though, smiling nervously at Logan.

"May I inquire as to what you're doing here," Logan asks, attempting to hold his cool. He's sure a storm is brewing with his emotions, though.

"Oh. Well, after my mother moved to Mexico, my sister and I went with her. We lost connection with everything we had here, cellphones and all. I recently was able to move back and I was attempting to get in touch with Virgil once again, but I seemingly can't. All I have is the picture he sent me with Thomas and... A multitude of upset texts."

The guilty look doesn't help Logan in the least. He heaves out a slow, painful sigh, moving out of the way and making a somber gesture as he supplies, "Come in. If you truly want to... get in connection with him, there is a lot to discuss."

He can see Damien's confusion, the way he raises a brow, worry just as clear as day. he slips in, though, silent with all of his movements. He silently sits on the couch, smile lost as he glances around at the photos. Not a single one of Virgil sits around, just ones of Patton, Logan, Emile, Remy, Roman, and Thomas. Though, the ones of Roman and Thomas are more so collected in Patton's photobook, instead just the one of the two on the mantle. It's a much more somber atmosphere than it had been years ago, like how Damien remembered it.

Patton practically bounces down the stairs, smiling widely. "Lo, I put Thomas to bed. Roman said he'll be picking him up tonight when he gets off of work. And he-" He suddenly stops dead in his tracks, noticing Damien sitting on the couch. His smile crumbles and tears seemingly well in his eyes.

"Patton, Love, don't do anything to brash," Logan supplies, somber as can be. The room reaks of secrets and worry, especially at the tears collecting in Patton's eyes. "COme. Let's all sit down so we can talk this out. Is that alright?"

Patton sniffles, wiping his nose as he gives a pained nod. "Y-Yeah, okay," he whimpers, moving to sit on one of the armchairs. Logan sits on the couch beside him.

Damien stays silent for a moment, rather awkwardly turning to ask, "May... May I ask what happened?"

"You left," Patton mumbles bitterly, looking away. Tears still coat his eyes, giving no sign that they'll fall away any time soon, either.

Logan gently reminds, "You don't have to be in here for this, Pat. You may leave at any time if this is too much for you."

"They're my kids, too, Lo."

Logan nods respectfully, turning his attention to a very tense Damien, holding his hat in his hands. "When Virgil gave birth to Thomas... He had been having contractions for days before actually realizing. With that and the lack of sleep he got, as well as his already horrid health factors, he passed during the birth of Thomas."

Damien feels the tears brewing in his eyes. "Passed," he echoes, voice meek and timid, barely there. A sickening feeling overtakes him. He wants to vomit, to cry, to pass himself. He silently guesses that he never gets to supply to his mother a passive-aggressive, 'Told you I'd marry him.'

Logan nods, rubbing Patton's back as he supplies, "Yes. Thomas, though, has grown up healthy as can be. Remy, Emile, and Roman have shared custody of him, but Virgil made sure to set everything up where you may have custody of Thomas if you choose, or if you'd like to stay out of his life. There is even the possibility of you to just be someone that visits him."

Damien swallows hard, nodding slowly. He can't help the tears that fall.

-

Damien is in and out of Thomas' life. He tries to be the best influence he can for the child. He stays sober, loves Thomas like he hopes Virgil would want him to. he even visits' Virgil grave when he can, though he can't say he always has the balls to force himself to. He cries every single time, breaking down into tears that rack his body violently.

He gets to see Thomas grow, though. he gets to watch him marry, gets to walk his son down the isle, and so on.

He gets to die peacefully, too, something that he silently hopes Virgil got the chance to do.

"Please say hi to Dad on the other side," Thomas cries out as he holds his other fathers' hand. He had already been with Patton and Logan as they passed, then Remy and Emile. The last that remained was Roman, who was still kicking it like the damn man he always was. He was surely going to outlive everyone.

Damien smiles as he peers at the curtain of black and purple wings. A young face is held behind it, the smile of elegance and grace itself as Virgil stands tall and proud, a hand held out for the other. He quietly supplies, "You came far too early, My love."

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if I mistagged anything y'all. I don't want to mess this up.  
> Please leave comments! I love any and all! 
> 
> Please join my Discord server!  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy


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